Tainted love – NUFC

I'm Mike Ashley, yes I'm the real Ashley. All you other Mike Ashley's are just imitating.

I’m Mike Ashley, yes I’m the real Ashley. All you other Mike Ashley’s are just imitating.

There have been a lot of comparisons drawn between ourselves and our next opponents Tottenham Hotspur over the past few days. Bloody depressing stuff, we all know that the place is being pillaged by Fat Arse the Pirate – but when you see the evidence in Black and White it has left me shaking my head so hard I am putting a claim in for whip-lash.

We have no divine right to be bigger or better than any club, and most definitely do not have delusions of grandeur – but we have the right to be the best we possibly can be. Thanks to Moby Dick, we are now cheap skates, also-rans, bargain bin sniffers, Premier League paupers. Grateful for whatever scraps we are thrown from the Captains table. Whilst our opponents shop at Harrods, we are picking up out of date stock from Lidl.

Spurs have a Chairman who has had his knockers over the years, keeping a tight rein on spending – but he has transformed the club into major players. Making them the best they possibly can be. Spot the difference?

They too have lost their best players when bigger clubs have come knocking, but they haven’t just banked the loot and fished for cheap replacements, they have looked to strengthen and build with quality. Fair play to them, they have got a really good squad now. But it’s not just on the pitch, commercially they have rocketed past us. The obvious fact is that you have to speculate to accumulate. Spurs by their actions and ambition have made them a partner that people want to be associated with. Business, corporate and fans are willing to pay a Premium to see their team. Newcastle on the other hand are tainted by cheapness, dirtied by Sports Direct and Wonga. You get what you pay for.

If we shared the same ambition, the sky would be the limit. But we don’t have the same ambition, nor ever will as long as Butterbean is at the helm. We have zero ambition. Christ on a bike, the club admitted as such in the Fans’ Forum – no cups for us please! Unbelievable! Why does 1969 even get mentioned, 40 odd years of hurt quite obviously means nowt to the clubs owner and bean counters. If we are not interested in competing in two of the three competitions we enter and say so publicly – then by the power of Greyskull, why bother? If truth be told we are not interested in competing in the three competitions we enter. Ashley is quite happy to merely participate whilst the sound of the turnstiles click and the zero’s on his account swell.

Things will not change under this man. People will point to actions on the pitch, the Chelsea performance was the best we have played all season – I say that performances and results are in spite of the regime and not as a consequence. No victory should give them any validity.

He knows how he is running the club, but obviously doesn’t want any criticism of it. His pathetic banning of the local scribes is akin to a spoiled brat sulking with fingers in ears, shouting “la-la-la-la” when being told off. The abolition of the Fans Forum after one meeting is just unreal. The brat wanted to play football, but has taken the ball home after conceding a goal. Ah diddums little boy.

People have the right to protest, demonstrate, dare I say it – have an opinion?! The papers have a right to print accurate reports covering these things. After all it is a free country, but not in the Republic of Ashley, which has its own rule of censorship that would have the Taliban twisting their tits in complaint.

Honestly our Non-Glorious leader is ensuring that behind the walls of his palace, that he endures no negative criticism whilst he lounges on his thrown like Jabba the Hutt. In all honesty I thought that the local papers have been incredibly soft on the goings on at NUFC over the last few years. For obvious reasons they wanted their relationship intact. Maybe this will now sharpen their focus? But will their efforts and indeed the efforts of fans’ demonstrations fall on deaf ears? You bet. And thus the problem of the ever decreasing circle that is Newcastle United under Ashley.

If this seems to you like an unjust tirade, then we are never going to agree. Can he turn this around? Absolutely, but it would mean him having to do a complete about turn when it comes to the day to day running of the club. The chances of that are about as likely as us winning a cup! Ouch!

Back to the game. I am actually looking forward to this – which normally means one thing… disappointment! Spurs are doing well, if not ripping up trees. They are very tight at the back, which is very un-Spurs like and shy in front of goal – even more un-Spurs like. The fear is should we concede first we will do well to get anything from the game, such has been the strength of their defence. I have lost count as to how many clean sheets they have kept. Should we score first though, who knows? In fact the way we have played this season we are as likely to lose 3 nil as win 3 nil. The bookies must hate our lot.

Last week as previously mentioned was a great performance, well second half anyway. If we play like that we will do alright, if not then we won’t. Simples.

Here is hoping that in spite of it all, the team do us proud two weeks on the bounce. After all they have still got a lot of making up to do after the SMB’s.

Keep smiling.
HTL.

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